(continued)

And if all this were not enough, tonight I read that more Americans believe in UFOs than believe that calling someone a feminist is a compliment.

Whaaat? This is the kind of fact that makes you shake your head and wonder what the fuck you know about anything. At least it did me. And then it occurred to me that even though getting older is strange, I have definitely accumulated a few rules to live by:
.
One—Shake hands on your own terms, but be aware of the other person’s intentions.
Two—“New and cool” have expiration dates. As do we all. Learn to read them.
Three—Avoid taking to your bed for three days at a time and don’t let your significant other administer painkillers to you (no matter how much you love or trust them).
Four—In a post-ironic age, irony just might be more important than ever.

****

So, my mantra for the future is: avoid high tech stocks, keep Krispy Kreme, stay well ventilated, let new words, shirts and pants creep into my life, stop worrying about getting older, smile after making eye contact, NEVER take a Pilates class, keep listening to my nephew, and try to always remember the good times.

Aight?